CREATING METHODS OF HAPPINESS, PEACE & SUCCESS

Posts Tagged ‘self-talk’

Coping With Stressors: Episode 013



 

Problems aren’t the problem; coping is the problem ~ Virginia Satir

 

Everyone has stressors, but not everyone copes with them the same way. Are your coping strategies problem focused or emotion focused? The way you appraise your stressor will determine how you cope with it. Your appraisal depends on personal, collective and social factors. Awareness is the first step towards developing adaptive responses toward managing your problems.

 

Have you already subscribed to my podcast? If not, I’m encouraging you to do that today. I wouldn’t want you to miss an episode.

And, if you’re feeling extra loving, please share it and leave a review; it makes it easier to find. We can all benefit from a little nudge to start making small shifts towards increased health and happiness 🙂

Choose Your Focus: Episode 012



“ Most people are as happy as they choose to be” ~ Abraham Lincoln

 

Your experience in life is determined by your focus. You always have the choice to align with things that empower you, rather than limit you. The quickest way to change how you feel is to concentrate on the positive aspects and visualize your desired outcome. Leading with gratitude and strength is one of the ways to achieve well-being and happiness.

 

Have you already subscribed to my podcast? If not, I’m encouraging you to do that today. I wouldn’t want you to miss an episode.

And, if you’re feeling extra loving, please share it and leave a review; it makes it easier to find. We can all benefit from a little nudge to start making small shifts towards increased health and happiness 🙂

Dispute the Negative Self-Talk



The hard part about self-talk is that it always feels true. Even though your thoughts might often be biased or incorrect, you tend to assume that they’re facts.

Self-talk is often skewed towards the negative, and sometimes it’s just plain wrong. If you are experiencing depression, it is particularly likely that you interpret things negatively. That’s why it’s useful to keep an eye on the things you tell yourself, and challenge some of the negative aspects of your thinking.

With practice, you can learn to notice your own negative self-talk as it happens, and consciously choose to think about the situation in a more realistic and helpful way.

Learning to dispute negative thoughts might take time and practice, but is worth the effort. Once you start looking at it, you’ll probably be surprised by how much of your thinking is inaccurate, exaggerated, or focused on the negatives of the situation.

Whenever you become aware you’re feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset, use this as your signal to stop and reflect on your thoughts. Use your feelings as your cue to reflect on your thinking.

A good way to test the accuracy of your thoughts might be to ask yourself some challenging questions. These questions will help you to check out your self-talk to see whether your current view is reasonable.

 

Challenging Questions

 

There are four main types of challenging questions to ask yourself:

1. Reality testing

  • What is my evidence for and against my thinking?
  • Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
  • How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?

2. Look for alternative explanations

  • Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?
  • What else could this mean?
  • If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?

3. Putting it in perspective

  • What is the best thing that could happen?
  • Is there anything good about this situation?
  • Will this matter in five years’ time?

4. Using goal-directed thinking

  • Is this way of thinking helping me to achieve my goals?
  • What can I do that will help me solve the problem?
  • Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time?

 

Recognizing that your current way of thinking might be self-defeating (i.e. it doesn’t make you feel good or help you to get what you want) can sometimes motivate you to look at things from a different perspective.

Changing the way you think about things may not be easy at first, but with time and practice, you will get better.

Try it out – it’s worth the effort. Let me know how it goes.

 

repost from www.reachout.com