CREATING METHODS OF HAPPINESS, PEACE & SUCCESS

Topics for the ‘Parenting’ Category

 

Sleep problems and ADHD



SleepADHD affects more than just kids’ waking hours. And in turn, sleep deprivation can make kids’ attention problems worse.

The same regions of the brain regulate both attention and sleep, so it’s harder for children with ADHD to switch into bedtime mode. Depending on which study you read, anywhere from 20 to 45% of children with ADHD have regular difficulty falling or staying asleep—that’s at least three times the rate of other children! To make matters worse, once they’re asleep, they stay that way for a shorter amount of time, and often still feel tired when they wake up. Research has shown that those diagnosed with ADHD can even have abnormal REM (rapid eye movement) patterns during sleep. Given all this, it’s easier to understand that kids with ADHD may, in addition to the other things they deal with, also be chronically sleep deprived. They’re more likely to accumulate sleep debt, which can affect the brain even more than the ADHD does.

Sometimes kids are even misdiagnosed with ADHD when what they really have is a sleep disorder. Then they’re given medications which can make the problem even worse. If your child is diagnosed with ADHD, make sure doctors have ruled out sleep issues, since improper sleep patterns can cause behavior that looks suspiciously like ADHD—but isn’t. Unlike adults, when kids are sleep-deprived, they get hyper, moody, and have trouble paying attention.

Common sleep interferences for children usually involve breathing problems, including apnea and snoring. One solution, should doctors deem it necessary, is to remove adenoids or tonsils. But you can help your child get to sleep with less invasive measures: Before resorting to anything drastic, make sure that your child has a set evening routine and a realistic, enforceable, dependable bedtime. Don’t let your child use electronics in bed, or up to an hour before bed. Try using relaxing essential oils, such as lavender, to trigger that “bedtime” feeling, and make your child’s room cooler by turning on the air conditioner a few degrees colder than usual. Taking an epsom salt bath before bed helps some kids feel relaxed and sleepy and remember to try relaxing breathing techniques and calming visualizations.

If you find that things aren’t improving, consult a professional. Especially if your child has been prescribed medications to manage ADHD, work with the pediatrician or psychiatrist to figure out whether the medications could be causing the sleep problems and explore solutions

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The Family Talking Stick



Screen Shot 2013-06-14 at 3.02.03 PMDid you ever have a talking stick when you were little? Sometimes teachers use them to teach children how to wait their turn before talking, but they are great tools for families too. A talking stick provides a simple and fun way to teach everyone in your family how to listen to other people when they are talking, as well as take turns. As with most activities I recommend, there is no one “right” way to do this…. Feel free to get creative.

  • To make a talking stick, I suggest using a plastic pole, like the ones used in plumbing from your local hardware store or perhaps the inside of a paper towel roll.
  • The next step is to gather basic art supplies. This might include permanent markers, glitter glue, foam stickers, or anything else that looks fun and creative. You might also want to add beans, rice or small pebbles in the inside of the stick to make some noise. You can cover the ends with cardboard and masking tape.
  • Sit down as a family and explain that you are going to make a family talking stick together. Invite them to decorate it, and as they do so, explain to them how it will be used.

The rules for the talking stick are simple enough that even very young children can understand them: whoever has the talking stick in their hands gets to talk. If you don’t have the talking stick, you need to wait to speak until you have it. This works well for dinnertime, car rides, or other circumstances where children may find themselves talking over each other (or fighting) a lot. The talking stick teaches them how to listen to others and wait their turn. I suggest having a time limit for how long someone can have the talking stick, and you might even keep a timer to moderate it. If you have other creative ways you’ve seen someone else use a talking stick, please feel free to share them!

Why Kids Interrupt and how to handle it



Anger-in-childrenIf you’re a parent, you know how frustrating it is when your child interrupts you. Whether you’re on an important phone call, trying to finish up some computer work, or having a face-to-face conversation with another adult, it often seems like you have an eager child competing for your attention. Why do they do this?

Kids interrupt when they have a need that only we can meet. Maybe they’re hungry or bored or bothered by a sibling. Whatever the reason, your children want you to know that they need your attention. In short, they’re focused on their needs—not yours.

But if you give it a bit of thought, you’ll realize that this demanding behavior doesn’t stem from malice or ill will. Your children are just trying to express themselves and feel that what they have to say matters.

Interruptions can also be a child’s unpolished way of entering a process or situation. When we tell them to be quiet or that we don’t have time, we send the message that their circumstance is not important.

Instead of responding harshly or dismissively, transform the interruption into a teachable moment. Instruct your child about how and when to interrupt; doing so is essential to ending the frustration. Start by giving examples of when it is actually appropriate to interrupt—like when someone is at the door, or, of course, if someone is hurt. Then decide on a gesture or signal (like raising their hand or pointer finger) that they can use to alert you to an important situation. Also decide on—and use—a signal that you’ll use to acknowledge them.

Even if their need to interrupt is actually urgent in nature and really does require your immediate attention, teach your children to remember their manners and to always say “Excuse me” if they are creating an interruption.

When children interrupt, you should always at least make eye contact with them. If their need isn’t pressing, calmly respond by saying, “Give me a minute.” And then make them wait as long as is needed for you to finish your original activity—it’s important that you don’t immediately respond to kids’ non-urgent interruptions, unless you want to reinforce this disruptive behavior.

By all means, give your children the same respect you demand from them. Acknowledge them and let them know that they matter. But also guide them toward patience and forbearance. Doing so will save you years of frustration—but perhaps more importantly, it’ll supply your kids with a critical social skill that will serve them well over the course of their lives.