CREATING METHODS OF HAPPINESS, PEACE & SUCCESS

Topics for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

 

Sleep problems and ADHD



SleepADHD affects more than just kids’ waking hours. And in turn, sleep deprivation can make kids’ attention problems worse.

The same regions of the brain regulate both attention and sleep, so it’s harder for children with ADHD to switch into bedtime mode. Depending on which study you read, anywhere from 20 to 45% of children with ADHD have regular difficulty falling or staying asleep—that’s at least three times the rate of other children! To make matters worse, once they’re asleep, they stay that way for a shorter amount of time, and often still feel tired when they wake up. Research has shown that those diagnosed with ADHD can even have abnormal REM (rapid eye movement) patterns during sleep. Given all this, it’s easier to understand that kids with ADHD may, in addition to the other things they deal with, also be chronically sleep deprived. They’re more likely to accumulate sleep debt, which can affect the brain even more than the ADHD does.

Sometimes kids are even misdiagnosed with ADHD when what they really have is a sleep disorder. Then they’re given medications which can make the problem even worse. If your child is diagnosed with ADHD, make sure doctors have ruled out sleep issues, since improper sleep patterns can cause behavior that looks suspiciously like ADHD—but isn’t. Unlike adults, when kids are sleep-deprived, they get hyper, moody, and have trouble paying attention.

Common sleep interferences for children usually involve breathing problems, including apnea and snoring. One solution, should doctors deem it necessary, is to remove adenoids or tonsils. But you can help your child get to sleep with less invasive measures: Before resorting to anything drastic, make sure that your child has a set evening routine and a realistic, enforceable, dependable bedtime. Don’t let your child use electronics in bed, or up to an hour before bed. Try using relaxing essential oils, such as lavender, to trigger that “bedtime” feeling, and make your child’s room cooler by turning on the air conditioner a few degrees colder than usual. Taking an epsom salt bath before bed helps some kids feel relaxed and sleepy and remember to try relaxing breathing techniques and calming visualizations.

If you find that things aren’t improving, consult a professional. Especially if your child has been prescribed medications to manage ADHD, work with the pediatrician or psychiatrist to figure out whether the medications could be causing the sleep problems and explore solutions

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How to deal with a declining sex life in marriage



decline

Sex—or, more accurately, the lack thereof—is a huge reason couples come to therapy. It’s not unusual for psychologists to hear couples confessing that they haven’t been intimate in months or years. Or that intimacy has come to involve a lot of resentment or even infidelity.

There are many reasons that lead to a diminishing sex life in marriage. One thing to consider if you’re dealing with lack of sex in your marriage is that stress can have a huge impact on your sex life. Partners react to stress by getting distracted, overworking, and feeling angry or tired—all of which can easily lead to a lack of desire. Stress can also be a key factor in feeling “not in the mood,” or not wanting to be touched.

If either of you have too much stress your lives, try to share what’s really bothering you with your spouse. If the stress is coming from something that the two of you are conflicted about, you can either bring that to therapy or work through it at home, if you’re both committed to listening attentively to each other.

Besides stress, other reasons for a dwindling sex life can include anything from a partner feeling hurt, rejected, unappreciated, or neglected. Communication issues, lack of trust, and the presence of children are also big contributing factors.

To start healing the situation, first know that being anxious about the lack of sex will only make things worse. Try not to think negatively about the situation; instead, focus on creating intimacy. Act to relieve your own stress though whatever means work for you, be it yoga, a bubble bath, reading, exercising, sleeping, eliminating detrimental thinking patterns, and so on. If you need to communicate to your spouse that you’re unsatisfied with your sex life, don’t frame it as a complaint. Use compassion and sweetness with phrasing like, “I miss you.”

Work to help your spouse relieve his or her stress too. Make sure you’re doing fun stuff together—go for a bike ride, take a class, whatever you both enjoy—and make sure to stay connected. Intimacy isn’t all about sex—emotional intimacy can be just as powerful—so remember the importance of doing things like holding hands, taking a bath for two, giving each other massages, and just laughing together.

You can even schedule sex. Sure, it doesn’t sound all that romantic, but sometimes, in hectic lives, actively planning for intimacy can be one of the only solutions. Mark the calendar for “date night”  once a week (or at least once a month) and make it as romantic as possible—candles and music always help—including providing for a clear situation and time when sex can happen.

Is it a quirk or OCD?



ocd

Almost everyone has a quirk or two.

Some people have to organize their shirts by color.  Some need to dot their I’s a special way.  Some have to clean their kitchen in just a certain way.  Some always double-check the front door before they go to sleep.

Quirks.  Quirks, I tell you!

Unless …

You feel that a disorganized closet is going to ruin your day, your week, or even your life (and you will panic and feel sick over it until you fix it).  You think that if you don’t dot your i’s just so it might mean that something bad will happen to your family.  You think that if you don’t follow a particular routine in cleaning, you (or people you love) are going to get really sick and probably die.  You think that if you don’t check the front door, a murderer will certainly get inside, kill your entire family, and it will actually be all your fault.

Those are just some examples off the top of my head, but my point is this: if it doesn’t interfere with your daily functioning and cause you severe distress, it’s not OCD.

In fact, it’s built into the very definition: OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry; by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety; or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions.

OCD is an anxiety disorder.  It ruins people’s lives.  It steals joy from them.  It gives them a sickening feeling of terror.

Quirks don’t give you a feeling of doom. They can mess with your head for a bit but you overcome them quickly.

Please don’t feed into the misrepresentation.  You are not “so OCD” just because you organize your sock drawer.  If, on the other hand, you believe that something terrible will happen if you don’t organize it just right, and if the organization and reorganization of your drawer seems to be adding to your distress, well, that’s another story.

Talk to a professional, who specializes in OCD, if you are worried.

How can parents use behavioral therapy with children?



images (2)Question: How can parents use behavioral therapy with children?

Answer: Behavior therapy involves developing a system of dealing with the child’s behavior to curtail problem behaviors and to increase self-control and compliance. Two techniques are involved: The first aims to increase positive behaviors by identifying the triggers and creating strategies to reduce negative patterns. The second deals with the way adults react to how the child acts and entails creating a set of consequences.

Examples include: ignoring outbursts that seem to beg for attention; listening

and responding to your child’s needs; rewarding positive behavior changes (even if the behavior isn’t perfect); using the right discipline for “wrong” behavior; using the right language when talking about behavior (for example, saying “appropriate” and “inappropriate” instead of “good” and “bad”); and praising the child’s obvious efforts to improve. Most importantly, catch your child being “successful” and praise him for it.

Q&A: What is the best treatment for ADHD?



myths_about_adhdQuestion:  What is the best treatment for ADHD?
Answer: The best treatment for ADHD is a multimodal one which addresses every aspect of the struggle. This may include pursuing multiple actions such as pharmacological treatment, educational interventions, behavioral programs, and psychological therapy. The wellness of the whole self must be addressed: mind, body, and spirit. The best place to start is to make sure the basics are covered: enough sleep, plenty of exercise, good nutrition, a sense of gratitude, and a good support system. Independently, no one of these is likely to lead to significant change but employed collectively, they’ll bring significant improvement.