CREATING METHODS OF HAPPINESS, PEACE & SUCCESS

Topics for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

 

How to talk to your child about traumatic events



Part of parenting is protecting your child and helping them navigate difficult situations, organize their thoughts and express their emotions. One of the most challenging conversations a parent can have with their child is one that involves tragedy. In this digital era, children are exposed to everything. It is no longer an option to hide the ugly happenings in the world from your child. The images and the news is everywhere. There is no easy way to talk to your child about traumatic events but there are things you can do to help them cope with what they are seeing, hearing and feeling.

Here are some tips to facilitate conversation:

  • Keep in mind your child’s developmental stage and personality when exchanging thoughts and information. Elementary school children do not need elaborate explanations. They are looking for simple answers and reassurance that they will be safe. High school kids on the other hand may want details, facts and explanations and a space to vent safely.
  • Listen first, ask questions later. Give them the opportunity to express their concerns and feelings about what has occurred. Respond with empathy. Don’t make assumptions. Answer their questions honestly, even if that means “I don’t know.” And remember to ask them how you could help?
  • Validate their feelings. Let them know it’s ok to feel the way they do. Normalize their feelings by saying, “ It’s normal to feel sad, angry or scared when tragedy occurs.“
  • Don’t obsess about talking about the tragedy. Let them know that you are available to listen and answer any questions as they arise.
  • Balance grief with positive memories.
  • Assure them that there are good people in the world working hard to keep them safe and fix the problem.
  • Empower them to speak up to teachers, legislature, peers. Remind them that their voice and feelings matter.
  • Encourage self care and model it. Self care can include meditating, yoga, journaling, expression through art, exercising, eating healthy, sleeping well and focusing on the positive.

Listening and talking is the key to a healthy connection between you and your child.

I can say this instead…



 

Instead of …                                     Try thinking…

 

– I’m not good at this                          – What am I missing?

 

– I’m awesome at this                         – I’m on the right track

 

– I give up!                                           – I’ll use a different strategy

 

– This is too hard                                – This may take some time & effort

 

– I can’t do math                                – I’m going to train my brain in math

 

– I made a mistake                             – Mistakes help me improve

 

– Its’ good enough                            – Is this really my best work?

 

– They don’t like me                         – I don’t need anyone’s approval

 

– I’m too impulsive                          – I’m very spontaneous

 

 

 

 

Deep Breathing



Proper breathing helps your body break away from the “fight or flight” response. When you are stressed, your breath becomes more rapid and shallow. Deep breathing allows the body to return to a state of calmness and delivers oxygen throughout the body as it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system.

Deep breathing is a technique that can be used anywhere and anytime. It is best to practice it in a calm state so that when you are stressed, the technique can be easily implemented.

 

Belly Breathing

  • Lie on your back. Put your hands on your belly.
  • With your mouth closed, breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of 4 as your belly expands.
  • Hold the breath for a count of 2.
  • Slowly exhale the breath though your mouth as your belly retracts.
  • Repeat several times.

 

Making it fun for children

  • Blowing a pinwheel
  • Blowing a feather
  • Blowing bubbles.
  • Placing a stuffed animal on their stomach, while lying down and watching it rise and lower with each breath.
  • Add imagery while inhaling, such as a colorful balloon filling up with air and then letting the air out of the balloon upon exhale.
  • Add a phrase, such as “ breathe in the good, breathe out the bad.”

 

 

Managing a panic attack



A panic attack is a sudden episode of overwhelming fear that occurs spontaneously. It is a short period of intense anxiety, often lasting several minutes. It can happen at any moment, whether asleep or awake. It can be emotionally debilitating and terrifying, but not life threatening.

A panic attack is due to high levels of adrenaline. Adrenaline, also known as epinephrine, is a hormone and neurotransmitter that activates the fight or flight mechanism in your body. When excess adrenaline is pumped into your bloodstream, you may start to feel the symptoms of a panic attack until all the adrenaline released is used up by your autonomic nervous system. When there is no more surplus adrenaline in your bloodstream, the panic attack subsides.

 

These are some symptoms that you may experience during a panic attack:

  • Light-headedness
  • Numbness
  • Nausea
  • Sweating
  • Tingling
  • Shortness of breath or smothering
  • Stomach problems
  • Shaking
  • Chills/heat
  • Dizziness
  • Flushes
  • Fear of dying
  • Chest pains
  • Racing heart/palpitations
  • Feeling of unreality
  • Feeling of choking
  • Fear of losing control

 

What can you do?

  1. Sit or lay down. Ground yourself.
  2. Think, “This will pass” “Even though I am very scared and uncomfortable, I am going to be ok”, “ I am not in danger”, “ This is not life-threatening”
  3. Concentrate on your breathing, and breathe deeply and slowly in through your nose for four seconds and out through your mouth for six seconds. Keep doing this for a few  minutes. This will bring the needed oxygen back into your body. It is best to practice this first while you are feeling calm rather than wait until you are anxious
  4. Some people prefer to close their eyes and others prefer to look around and notice all the typical things happening around them to distract themselves.
  5. Cold water and ice works well with panic attacks. Sip cold water, put a cold cloth on the base of your neck, splash ice water on your face\
  6.  As a lifestyle, cut out coffee, tea, soda and start a stress reduction practice. Your nervous system will thank you for it.
  7.  Diet can affect anxiety levels. Talk to your doctor about nutrition therapy and how vitamins and minerals can support your autonomic nervous system
  8.  If panic attacks occur often, you may want to consider medication.

 

 

Exercise Your Brain



Mental exercise is just as important as physical exercise. Regularly exercising your brain with mentally stimulating novel activities helps brain function (thinking skills and memory) and reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias. The best brain exercises challenge you to try something new and develop new neural pathways.

There are many ways you can exercise your brain. You could try:

  • Attending lectures to learn something new.
  • Playing board or card games.
  • Enrolling in classes in your local adult education center.
  • A hobby such as painting, carpentry, sewing etc.
  • Reading different genres of books or magazines.
  • Learn to dance, play a musical instrument or speak a new language.
  • Join a club or community group.
  • Find a volunteer position that allows you to meet new people and experience new situations.
  • Create a jigsaw puzzle.
  • Perform a task with your non-dominant hand.
  • Change your routines. This will help you refocus your attention.
  • And of course, continue your physical exercise. Exercise improves circulation and sends oxygen to your brain.

Spring Clean Your Behaviors



“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”
– Anais Nin

 

Spring Cleaning Your BehaviotSpring is a time of new beginnings. It is a time to let go of behaviors that no longer make you happy and commit to making changes.

What are some behaviors that you would like to change? Have you picked up some bad habits? Is fear stopping you from doing something?

What would help you begin that change process? Take the first step.

Here are 4 Steps to Help You Start the Change Process

1. Identify what behavior you want to change and know why you must change it. Consider the reasons why the old behavior just doesn’t serve you anymore and the benefits of the new one. Commit to your new desired behavior.

2. Set yourself up for success by preparing yourself mentally and physically for action. Begin by writing down what you have committed to and posting it somewhere that you can see it often. Be sure to include the “why” you are doing it.  Identify any obstacles and triggers that may jeopardize you and write down the solutions for these obstacles. Set up the supplies or circumstances that will help you achieve your desired results, this includes a support system. Join a gym. Throw out the cigarettes and buy carrot sticks and tic-tac’s instead. Set timers. Go buy a week’s worth of greens. Whatever your goal is-take action!

3. Take action. Think. Get clarity. Identify what you want and then commit to taking an actionable step towards your goal daily. This is where the real magic happens.

4. Maintain your new behavior by reminding yourself of the reason it’s important. Satisfaction with your new behavior is dependent upon your expectations. Keep your expectations realistic. Significant change takes time. Change is a process not an event. Slowly but surely you will meet your goals.

Maintain your new behavior for at least 30 days so a new habit begins to take place. And if you relapse to your old ways, just return to the desired behavior. It is not a sign of failure but rather another opportunity to make you stronger.

 

Celebrate Self- Love



…Because self-love extends from how we treat ourselves to how we relate to everything and everyone around us.

It’s a small shift in perspective, prompted by a smile or a kind gesture or a “just because” moment that creates magical ripples.

Love requires action and it can be expressed easily through sharing and caring. It inspires kindness, connection and gratitude. It feels good for us. It feels good for others.

Self-love is contagious.

The moment we start celebrating love for ourselves, experiences shift.

Relationships blossom. Health improves. And life begins to feel ridiculously good.

So honor who you are. Stay true to your needs. Do what truly feels right for you. Do it with grace, do it with ease. Do it for others.

Loving yourself is not a one-time event and it certainly does not have conditions. It’s a natural, non-selfish way to attract love and spread love to those around us.

Self- love comes from within. By loving ourselves, we open the doors for others to do the same.

Celebrate… Expand… Share the love.

Back To School Stress Busters



A new school year can be an exciting, yet stressful time in your child’s life.
Numerous thoughts cross their minds about the Welcome backpossibilities that await them, both academically and socially. For parents, there are stressors too, such as adjusting to schedules, additional demands and having your child out of your care. As a family, this is a great opportunity to strengthen your connection as you support each other through this journey. Here are some tips to help you manage the stress:

1. Talk about their school day everyday. Ask questions and really listen. Sometimes, your child may want help brainstorming solutions to a situation and other times they may just want you to listen. During this time give your child your undivided attention. Also remember to share their enthusiasm for all the good things that they experienced.

2. Make sure your child has at least 8-10 hours sleep and all the electronics, including TV are shut off 30 minutes prior to bedtime. Mornings can be easy by creating a morning routine, having them set out their clothes or uniforms, getting backpacks ready and breakfast chosen the night before goes a long way.

3. The best way to immediately tone down your stress level is a few deep breaths. The breath is best inhaled through the nose and exhaled through the mouth. Try this as soon as you feel a stressor.

4. Have your child develop a new mantra “I’ve got this.” This mantra will be useful every time they feel uncertain about something. It is used as a simple reminder that it’s ok, they are going to be fine, they can do it! So, before that test that they studied for- “I’ve got this” – before they go talk to that new someone – “I’ve got this”.

5. Social concerns are high for kids. Remind them that not everyone is going to see eye to eye with them and may not even like them and that’s OK! We are all unique and special and the most important thing is that we like ourselves and are nice and respectful to others. Encourage your child to find a group of friends that they feel comfortable with and remind them that over time they can always choose to develop more friendships.

Prevent the Summer Math Slide



Summer is half way through and as your child gets ready to go back to school in September, it might be a good idea to help them sharpen their math skills.

During summer, kids often forget math computational skills that they learned the previous year. So, it’s a good time to help them regain their memory.

Here are a few tips on how to weave some fun into a math review:

Problem Solving:

Have your child solve everyday math problems, such as:

  • If each candy bar costs $1.29 then how much do 3 candy bars cost?
  • How old will I be when you turn 18?
  • How old will you be in the year 2050?
  • If I were to give you $50 to spend and you had to buy two gifts, one for $15 and the other for $22, then how much money would you have left over?

Money:

  • Count the money in the piggy bank
  • Write out fake checks
  • Make towers of quarters and dimes and guess how much money there is in each tower
  • Let them pay and check the change wherever you go

Math Facts:

  • Ask them the times tables on a random car ride and offer a treat (maybe ice cream) if they get them mostly right
  • Use pizzas, pies, cookies and cakes to review fractions
  • Get a math facts placemat for the dinner table

Digital Practice:

  • Mathisfun.com
  • Fun4thebrain.com
  • Maths Bingo app
  • Virtual Manipulatives app

Kinesthetic Learners:

  • Use clay or Legos
  • Use sand and water to demonstrate volume
  • Use grapes, oranges or any other fruit or vegetable to count, divide or multiply

And of course, there’s the old lemonade stand, which will help your child boost mathematical, measuring and money management skills.

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All is takes is a few minutes everyday to practice math facts to ensure an easy transition into the next school year. Start today.

 

 

Everybody Needs Somebody Sometimes…



Do you try to do everything yourself?  You’ve got this, right!

You can handle it-

Your Job- clients, bosses, co-workers deadlines, salesEverybody needs
Your Finances- banks, payments, budgets, funds
Your Family- husband, wife, kids, parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, pets
Your House- cooking, cleaning, laundry, repairing, decorating
Your Health- physically, mentally, spiritually

And the list continues. As a matter of fact, take a moment to break down the categories above and write down what each of them entails.
Yep, you’re doing a lot of work! Every day. Over and over again.

And why?

Perhaps, you like things done your way. Maybe, you think asking for help is a sign of weakness. Asking for help may even put you in a vulnerable spot. Heck, you might even get rejected or misinformed.

Regardless, somewhere along the line you came to believe that independence is the key to happiness and success.  And it may be- to a certain extent. You can be smart, successful, independent, and do anything you need to do or want to do.

But sooner or later, something will knock you down and you will need help getting back up. It might be something big and not so good, like a health crisis or a job loss or a divorce. It might be something big and very good, like a new business you are launching or relocating or joining forces with someone else. Maybe even winning the lottery.

And at times like this, you might need a housekeeper, a nanny, a financial advisor, a marriage counselor or a doctor. Some just need their family or their friends. But everybody needs somebody sometimes.