CREATING METHODS OF HAPPINESS, PEACE & SUCCESS

Topics for the ‘Kids’ Category

 

How can parents use behavioral therapy with children?



images (2)Question: How can parents use behavioral therapy with children?

Answer: Behavior therapy involves developing a system of dealing with the child’s behavior to curtail problem behaviors and to increase self-control and compliance. Two techniques are involved: The first aims to increase positive behaviors by identifying the triggers and creating strategies to reduce negative patterns. The second deals with the way adults react to how the child acts and entails creating a set of consequences.

Examples include: ignoring outbursts that seem to beg for attention; listening

and responding to your child’s needs; rewarding positive behavior changes (even if the behavior isn’t perfect); using the right discipline for “wrong” behavior; using the right language when talking about behavior (for example, saying “appropriate” and “inappropriate” instead of “good” and “bad”); and praising the child’s obvious efforts to improve. Most importantly, catch your child being “successful” and praise him for it.

Q&A: What is the best treatment for ADHD?



myths_about_adhdQuestion:  What is the best treatment for ADHD?
Answer: The best treatment for ADHD is a multimodal one which addresses every aspect of the struggle. This may include pursuing multiple actions such as pharmacological treatment, educational interventions, behavioral programs, and psychological therapy. The wellness of the whole self must be addressed: mind, body, and spirit. The best place to start is to make sure the basics are covered: enough sleep, plenty of exercise, good nutrition, a sense of gratitude, and a good support system. Independently, no one of these is likely to lead to significant change but employed collectively, they’ll bring significant improvement.

Q&A: Is there any correlation between IQ and ADHD?



This is the second post from the Q&A session with Therapist Martha Alvarez.

Question: Is there any correlation between IQ and ADHD?

Answer: No. Many people with average, above-average, or below-average intelligence have ADHD. Your child may be smart and manage to ace tests but can still have significant difficulties when it comes to planning and organizational skills, which can affect grades later—especially in high school. Managing ADHD is more about being able to use intelligence in an effective manner.

Q & A :Do people outgrow ADHD?



ADHD symbol design isolated on white backgroundThis post is the first in a series of Q&A’s with Martha about ADHD.

Question:    Do people outgrow ADHD? 

Answer: Not really. However, as children’s brains mature, their symptoms and impairments may change.  They find ways to do life differently so that the challenges caused by ADHD are more manageable and socially acceptable.  A hyper or impulsive child will exhibit their energy much differently than a hyper or impulsive adult will. Whereas a child with ADHD may fidget, act hyper, or interrupt and intrude on others, adults channel their inner restlessness differently, possibly via thrill-seeking behaviors such as driving recklessly, drinking alcohol, or overspending. If left untreated, ADHD can disrupt life, whether the person who has it is a child or an adult.

The Family Talking Stick



Screen Shot 2013-06-14 at 3.02.03 PMDid you ever have a talking stick when you were little? Sometimes teachers use them to teach children how to wait their turn before talking, but they are great tools for families too. A talking stick provides a simple and fun way to teach everyone in your family how to listen to other people when they are talking, as well as take turns. As with most activities I recommend, there is no one “right” way to do this…. Feel free to get creative.

  • To make a talking stick, I suggest using a plastic pole, like the ones used in plumbing from your local hardware store or perhaps the inside of a paper towel roll.
  • The next step is to gather basic art supplies. This might include permanent markers, glitter glue, foam stickers, or anything else that looks fun and creative. You might also want to add beans, rice or small pebbles in the inside of the stick to make some noise. You can cover the ends with cardboard and masking tape.
  • Sit down as a family and explain that you are going to make a family talking stick together. Invite them to decorate it, and as they do so, explain to them how it will be used.

The rules for the talking stick are simple enough that even very young children can understand them: whoever has the talking stick in their hands gets to talk. If you don’t have the talking stick, you need to wait to speak until you have it. This works well for dinnertime, car rides, or other circumstances where children may find themselves talking over each other (or fighting) a lot. The talking stick teaches them how to listen to others and wait their turn. I suggest having a time limit for how long someone can have the talking stick, and you might even keep a timer to moderate it. If you have other creative ways you’ve seen someone else use a talking stick, please feel free to share them!

Why Kids Interrupt and how to handle it



Anger-in-childrenIf you’re a parent, you know how frustrating it is when your child interrupts you. Whether you’re on an important phone call, trying to finish up some computer work, or having a face-to-face conversation with another adult, it often seems like you have an eager child competing for your attention. Why do they do this?

Kids interrupt when they have a need that only we can meet. Maybe they’re hungry or bored or bothered by a sibling. Whatever the reason, your children want you to know that they need your attention. In short, they’re focused on their needs—not yours.

But if you give it a bit of thought, you’ll realize that this demanding behavior doesn’t stem from malice or ill will. Your children are just trying to express themselves and feel that what they have to say matters.

Interruptions can also be a child’s unpolished way of entering a process or situation. When we tell them to be quiet or that we don’t have time, we send the message that their circumstance is not important.

Instead of responding harshly or dismissively, transform the interruption into a teachable moment. Instruct your child about how and when to interrupt; doing so is essential to ending the frustration. Start by giving examples of when it is actually appropriate to interrupt—like when someone is at the door, or, of course, if someone is hurt. Then decide on a gesture or signal (like raising their hand or pointer finger) that they can use to alert you to an important situation. Also decide on—and use—a signal that you’ll use to acknowledge them.

Even if their need to interrupt is actually urgent in nature and really does require your immediate attention, teach your children to remember their manners and to always say “Excuse me” if they are creating an interruption.

When children interrupt, you should always at least make eye contact with them. If their need isn’t pressing, calmly respond by saying, “Give me a minute.” And then make them wait as long as is needed for you to finish your original activity—it’s important that you don’t immediately respond to kids’ non-urgent interruptions, unless you want to reinforce this disruptive behavior.

By all means, give your children the same respect you demand from them. Acknowledge them and let them know that they matter. But also guide them toward patience and forbearance. Doing so will save you years of frustration—but perhaps more importantly, it’ll supply your kids with a critical social skill that will serve them well over the course of their lives.