Helping You Build Healthier Relationships With Yourself and Others

Topics for the ‘Health & Wellness’ Category

 

Celebrate Self- Love



…Because self-love extends from how we treat ourselves to how we relate to everything and everyone around us.

It’s a small shift in perspective, prompted by a smile or a kind gesture or a “just because” moment that creates magical ripples.

Love requires action and it can be expressed easily through sharing and caring. It inspires kindness, connection and gratitude. It feels good for us. It feels good for others.

Self-love is contagious.

The moment we start celebrating love for ourselves, experiences shift.

Relationships blossom. Health improves. And life begins to feel ridiculously good.

So honor who you are. Stay true to your needs. Do what truly feels right for you. Do it with grace, do it with ease. Do it for others.

Loving yourself is not a one-time event and it certainly does not have conditions. It’s a natural, non-selfish way to attract love and spread love to those around us.

Self- love comes from within. By loving ourselves, we open the doors for others to do the same.

Celebrate… Expand… Share the love.

5 Ways To Practice Self–Love



1. Treat yourself to simple pleasures daily. Little things that truly satisfy you can brighten up your day and make you feel good. Things like taking a long, relaxing shower or hot bath, going for a morning run, clearing out your desk, making someone smile, or maybe just running around barefoot in the grass with your kids.

2. Talk yourself happy. What you say to yourself can have a powerful impact. Replacing pessimistic, negative language with positive affirmations and self-acceptance is a quick way to increase your well-being. With a positive mental attitude you can conquer most anything.

3. Practice forgiveness. Let go of the past. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Grudges and anger only poison you. To forgive does not mean that you condone the misdeeds of others but it is a way to let go of the pain you carry. Forgiveness is being at peace and not suffering any more. It is a gift for you.

4. Take care of your mind, body and spirit. Your body is your temple. Do it well. What you think and how you process dictates your reality. Create awareness of what you eat, what you drink, notice how you breathe, how well you rest. Make sure to nurture your spirit, for it is what will ground you and keep you connected. Trust yourself to optimize your mind, body and spirit for only you know what it truly needs.

5. Practice gratitude. What are you grateful for? Make it a habit to stop and notice on a daily basis. Counting your blessings is all about appreciation, because nobody owes you anything. It’s not a given. It is a way of acknowledging, connecting and expanding. And, as a side note, science says that practicing gratitude is a simple way to increase happiness.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha

Dispute the Negative Self-Talk



The hard part about self-talk is that it always feels true. Even though your thoughts might often be biased or incorrect, you tend to assume that they’re facts.

Self-talk is often skewed towards the negative, and sometimes it’s just plain wrong. If you are experiencing depression, it is particularly likely that you interpret things negatively. That’s why it’s useful to keep an eye on the things you tell yourself, and challenge some of the negative aspects of your thinking.

With practice, you can learn to notice your own negative self-talk as it happens, and consciously choose to think about the situation in a more realistic and helpful way.

Learning to dispute negative thoughts might take time and practice, but is worth the effort. Once you start looking at it, you’ll probably be surprised by how much of your thinking is inaccurate, exaggerated, or focused on the negatives of the situation.

Whenever you become aware you’re feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset, use this as your signal to stop and reflect on your thoughts. Use your feelings as your cue to reflect on your thinking.

A good way to test the accuracy of your thoughts might be to ask yourself some challenging questions. These questions will help you to check out your self-talk to see whether your current view is reasonable.

 

Challenging Questions

 

There are four main types of challenging questions to ask yourself:

1. Reality testing

  • What is my evidence for and against my thinking?
  • Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
  • How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?

2. Look for alternative explanations

  • Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?
  • What else could this mean?
  • If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?

3. Putting it in perspective

  • What is the best thing that could happen?
  • Is there anything good about this situation?
  • Will this matter in five years’ time?

4. Using goal-directed thinking

  • Is this way of thinking helping me to achieve my goals?
  • What can I do that will help me solve the problem?
  • Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time?

 

Recognizing that your current way of thinking might be self-defeating (i.e. it doesn’t make you feel good or help you to get what you want) can sometimes motivate you to look at things from a different perspective.

Changing the way you think about things may not be easy at first, but with time and practice, you will get better.

Try it out – it’s worth the effort. Let me know how it goes.

 

repost from www.reachout.com

 

Back To School Stress Busters



A new school year can be an exciting, yet stressful time in your child’s life.
Numerous thoughts cross their minds about the Welcome backpossibilities that await them, both academically and socially. For parents, there are stressors too, such as adjusting to schedules, additional demands and having your child out of your care. As a family, this is a great opportunity to strengthen your connection as you support each other through this journey. Here are some tips to help you manage the stress:

1. Talk about their school day everyday. Ask questions and really listen. Sometimes, your child may want help brainstorming solutions to a situation and other times they may just want you to listen. During this time give your child your undivided attention. Also remember to share their enthusiasm for all the good things that they experienced.

2. Make sure your child has at least 8-10 hours sleep and all the electronics, including TV are shut off 30 minutes prior to bedtime. Mornings can be easy by creating a morning routine, having them set out their clothes or uniforms, getting backpacks ready and breakfast chosen the night before goes a long way.

3. The best way to immediately tone down your stress level is a few deep breaths. The breath is best inhaled through the nose and exhaled through the mouth. Try this as soon as you feel a stressor.

4. Have your child develop a new mantra “I’ve got this.” This mantra will be useful every time they feel uncertain about something. It is used as a simple reminder that it’s ok, they are going to be fine, they can do it! So, before that test that they studied for- “I’ve got this” – before they go talk to that new someone – “I’ve got this”.

5. Social concerns are high for kids. Remind them that not everyone is going to see eye to eye with them and may not even like them and that’s OK! We are all unique and special and the most important thing is that we like ourselves and are nice and respectful to others. Encourage your child to find a group of friends that they feel comfortable with and remind them that over time they can always choose to develop more friendships.

Everybody Needs Somebody Sometimes…



Do you try to do everything yourself?  You’ve got this, right!

You can handle it-

Your Job- clients, bosses, co-workers deadlines, salesEverybody needs
Your Finances- banks, payments, budgets, funds
Your Family- husband, wife, kids, parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, pets
Your House- cooking, cleaning, laundry, repairing, decorating
Your Health- physically, mentally, spiritually

And the list continues. As a matter of fact, take a moment to break down the categories above and write down what each of them entails.
Yep, you’re doing a lot of work! Every day. Over and over again.

And why?

Perhaps, you like things done your way. Maybe, you think asking for help is a sign of weakness. Asking for help may even put you in a vulnerable spot. Heck, you might even get rejected or misinformed.

Regardless, somewhere along the line you came to believe that independence is the key to happiness and success.  And it may be- to a certain extent. You can be smart, successful, independent, and do anything you need to do or want to do.

But sooner or later, something will knock you down and you will need help getting back up. It might be something big and not so good, like a health crisis or a job loss or a divorce. It might be something big and very good, like a new business you are launching or relocating or joining forces with someone else. Maybe even winning the lottery.

And at times like this, you might need a housekeeper, a nanny, a financial advisor, a marriage counselor or a doctor. Some just need their family or their friends. But everybody needs somebody sometimes.

5 Lifestyle Habits that Will Improve Symptoms of Both Depression and Anxiety



HealthyLife1.  Exercise– Endorphins, which are feel good hormones, are released during exercise.  Exercise can include many activities and does not have to be limited to going to a gym or running or walking. Try going for a bike ride or swimming, dancing and even gardening. The point is to get your body moving.

2.  Sleep– Getting enough quality sleep is essential. Sleep has a significant effect on your mood as well as your cognition. People are grumpy and don’t think straight when they are tired. Implement a good sleep hygiene habit and get some ZZZ’s.

3.  Sunshine– Let the sun shine in! Get out into the sun everyday for 20 minutes. Research indicates that 20 minutes of sunlight into your eyes improves the levels of feel good neurotransmitters.

4.  Smile– Stress shows up in our face. Smiling can help reduce stress and change your mood. Smiling also releases endorphins, boosts your immune system, makes you look younger and is contagious. So, what are you waiting for 🙂

5.  Eat more whole foods– Nutritional imbalances can make you prone to depression and anxiety. Some of the most common levels that may be off and can contribute to mental health issues are: essential fats, homocysteine, serotonin, blood sugar, calcium, vitamin, D, B12, magnesium and food intolerances. So tap into food’s healing properties and stay away from processed foods.

Teens “Hooking Up”



Romantic KissHooking up is a trend amongst teens that means “some sort of sexual activity with no strings attached.”  It is like “friends with benefits.” It can include anything from kissing and petting all the way to intercourse. It bypasses all the courting rituals and end eliminates the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.

Research conducted by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention shows that the likelihood of sex increases with each school grade level, from 32 percent in 9th grade to 62 percent in 12th grade.

So why are teens doing this? Basically, because they like someone, they think it’s ok and everyone else is doing it too. So it comes down to sexual excitement and peer acceptance.  This is fueled by all the media sources portraying sexual provocative images that socialize teens to think of sexual activity as normative. In addition, dating apps such as Tinder make it easy for teens to match up with other teens for sexual relations.

So what do you do as a parent?

First, get informed and develop an on-going, open communication with your teen. Explain to them that sexual activity can have physical and emotional consequences. Most teens don’t think about the emotional consequences. Have an open discussion without getting angry or punitive.

Then, don’t assume your teen is not having sex. Ask. Sex can mean different things to a teen. “Oral sex” may not be considered sex by many teens. Make sure they understand what you mean when you talk about sex. Listen to what they have to say.

Teens “hook up” to feel wanted and fit in as part of what has become socially acceptable by their peer group. It is important to know who your teen’s peer group is and what they are doing and where they are doing it. The most common time and place for teen sex is after school in someone’s house.

Even though it is uncomfortable for many parents to have this conversation with their teen, it actually helps strengthen your relationship.  Ideally the conversation should begin before your child becomes sexually active in any way. Regardless, having insight in your teen’s social life and keeping the communication lines open by listening to them and asking questions is the best way to protect them, both physically and emotionally.

Stinking Thinking can really make you mad



stinkingthinkingAnger triggering thoughts often distort our view of reality.  Here are some of the most common negative thoughts that feed anger and how to get rid of them.

Blaming. The belief that someone else is responsible for a situation and that you cannot do anything about it. By blaming others you discount that you have the power to make choices that impact your situation. You feel powerless, helpless and stuck. You expect someone else to fix it.

  • Instead think– “What can I do to change this situation?” “ I can do something about this”

Magnifying. The tendency to make mountains out of molehills – to make an uncomfortable situation worst. Using words like “awful, terrible, unbearable, horrible, the worst”, provoke an exaggerated angry response.

  • Instead think– “ How horrible is this, really? “  “It’s irritating but I can handle this”

Universal labels. The use of black and white thinking and judgments – seeing a person as “totally evil” or “completely selfish” and ignoring the good bits.

  • Instead think-  “ This is a problem or a bad choice but he/she is not a horrible person.”

 Misattributions. Jumping to conclusions and mind-reading; assigning negative motivations to the actions of others. You don’t ask for clarification or feedback because you think you already know.

  •  Instead think- What else might be going on? Can there be another explanation?

Overgeneralization- The use of “always”, “never”, “always”, “nobody”, “everybody”. Thoughts like “she’s always late” or “he never listens” fuel the angry situation.

  •  Instead think- “ How often does this happen? Are there times when it hasn’t happened?”

Demanding/Commanding- Imposing your own values and needs on others who may have very different values and needs. Feeling that your needs require other’s compliance.

  • Instead think- “ I would rather things were different but I can get through this.” “Not getting what I want is not the end of the world”

By practicing a bit of mindfulness you can turn around your cognitive distortions immediately and hence, get rid of anger.

Learning Styles- “To Each His Own”



img_learning_styleWe all have different learning styles, or ways of perceiving and processing information.

Visual learners enjoy pictures, videos and illustrations. They think in terms of “show me”. They like to have a broad picture before they get down to the details. You can communicate best with visual learners by using pictures, handouts, and graphics. Use phrases such as “do you see how it works?”

Auditory learners respond to sounds. They think in terms of “tell me”. They like participating in discussions, asking questions and prefer facts and details. They take into account the voice, tone and energy in a conversation.

Kinesthetic learners prefer to physically do something to understand and process information. They think in terms of “let me do it”.  They like touching, role-playing and fiddling with stuff.

Noticing how individuals prefer to learn and process information can be advantageous. For students, it can make school and homework much easier if they apply the techniques that resonate best with their learning style. For couples and families, it can facilitate communication and understanding and build overall better relationships.

People differ in the way they think, perceive, feel and behave. There is no right way or wrong way.  We are all unique and special and can communicate and process beautifully when respected and understood for our own special way.

Can food affect your happiness?



f2We can increase or decrease our happiness by what we eat. The magical ingredient? Serotonin.

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter and it affects our mood. It helps protect us against depression and anxiety. About 80% of the body’s total serotonin is in our gut in our enterochromaffin cells- where it regulates intestinal movements. It does not cross the blood brain barrier so serotonin that is used inside the brain must be produced within it.

So how do you get serotonin to increase?

Your body will make it by synthesizing the amino acid tryptophan (think turkey, cheese, beef). Tryptophan converts to 5 HTP (5-Hydroxytryptophan) which then converts to serotonin.

Serotonin blockers:

• Caffeine
• Alcohol
• Chronic Stress
• Artificial Sweeteners
• Grain based processed carbohydrates

Serotonin enhancers:

• Grass fed beef
• Turkey that grazes
• Organic free range eggs
• Nutritional yeast
• Milk products by grass fed cows
• Nuts and seeds
• Pumpkin
• Bananas
• Flax Seeds

So go ahead and serve some serotonin for dinner tonight and get the proper amino balance for a healthy serving of HAPPY!