CREATING METHODS OF HAPPINESS, PEACE & SUCCESS

Posts Tagged ‘children’

Turning relationship frustration into positive growth: Episode 47



“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors”

 

Learning how to manage frustration between couples, kids or family members is a powerful opportunity for growth and positive change. Today’s episode offers tips on what you can do to use “frustration” to create stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Have you already subscribed to my podcast? If not, I’m encouraging you to do that today. I wouldn’t want you to miss an episode.

And, if you’re feeling extra loving, please share it and leave a review; it makes it easier to find. We can all benefit from a little nudge to start making small shifts towards increased health and happiness 🙂

 

 

Behaviors that might suggest a teenager is experiencing difficulties



Parents often worry about their teens behavior. It is the norm for teenagers to sometimes appear withdrawn and moody and in their own world, but this shouldn’t last for a long time or interfere with their functioning.

We all have needs, such as feeling safe, liked, understood, and supported and they show up in different ways. There are times, however, when mental health issues can arise when things don’t seem to be going as expected. Your child may be experiencing lack of confidence, anxiety, perhaps even being bullied. Talk to them and help them express their feelings and come up with solutions.

The following is a list of behaviors that might suggest a teenager is experiencing difficulties.

If you are concerned about any of them, talk to your child and get professional help.

  • Becoming withdrawn and losing interest in friends, sports or favorite activities.
  • Having changes in sleep patterns such as not sleeping or sleeping for long periods.
  • Avoiding food, overeating or exercising excessively.
  • Seeming to be preoccupied or obsessed over a particular issue.
  • Having a change in mood such as becoming hostile or having feelings of anxiety or depression.
  • Having a sudden drop in schoolwork.
  • Doing things that don’t make sense to others.
  • Seeing or hearing things that nobody else sees or hears.
  • Being excessively tired or neglecting personal hygiene.
  • Wearing long sleeve clothes in hot weather. It may suggest they are hiding signs of self-harm.

How to talk to your child about terrorism



In lieu of the Paris terrorist attacks, many parents may have questions on how to talk to their children about violence and terrorism. The challenge lies in helping your child feel secure while trying to explain complex and disturbing situations.

It is natural for parents to want to spare children the details about terrorism. Unfortunately, children are exposed to violence in today’s world at a very early age and must learn to cope with these tough issues.

As a parent, you have an opportunity to talk with your child and provide answers to any questions that they may have, as well as lifting the burden of facing their fears and uncertainty alone.

Your child’s age, maturity and personality will influence their questions and your responses.

 

Here are some tips on getting started:

 

1. Take time to talk to your child and listen to their thoughts and concerns.

Ask your child what they have heard and how they feel about it? Don’t force your child to talk about things until they are ready. Assure them that you will be available for them, once they are.

 

2. Provide accurate information to any questions that your child may have.

Keep the explanations simple and age appropriate. If you do not know the answer, it’s ok to say that you don’t know and that you will let them know as soon as you find out.

 

3. Help your child express their feelings and concerns.

Some children are comfortable talking while others are more comfortable expressing themselves through playing with toys or drawing pictures. Do not dismiss their feelings and always provide them with a safe place to express themselves.

 

4. Assure your child that they are safe.

Explain to them that the government, the police and people all over the world are doing things to prevent this from happening again. Reassure them that they are safe and that you will always protect them.

 

5. Limit television and news exposure as well as adult conversations around your child.

These images and conversations can be very disturbing and cause distress to children. Be mindful to avoid stereotyping and prejudice. Use this opportunity to teach tolerance and explain prejudice.

 

6. Remind them that terrorism events are rare and that the world is generally a safe place.

Point out all the good things that happen on a daily basis and explain to them that these are isolated and rare events.

 

7. Look out for symptoms related to stress or anxiety

These symptoms may included difficulty sleeping, persistent upsetting thoughts, intense fears, and difficulty separating from parents or going to school as well as physical complaints. Professional help may be needed if your child shows signs of distress.

Now Or Later



Now Or Later Image

Procrastination is a psychological behavior that affects everyone to some degree or another. For some people it can be a minor problem; for others it is a source of considerable stress and anxiety.

 

One of the reasons children procrastinate is because they do not find the task fun or interesting. In fact, they tend to put off boring tasks until someone calls them out on it. Even then, they usually underestimate the time needed and effort that the task requires. Another reason may be that they do not feel confident that they can do what is asked of them. They may feel overwhelmed or confused on what to do first.

 

The following tips can help your child stop procrastinating:

 

  1. Set firm rules at home. Whether it’s completing homework or picking up their room, make sure that your child knows what is expected of him. Set basic rules such as “no TV until homework is done, checked and packed”. The trick here is to be consistent with the rule.
  2. Chunk it down. Some children need a series of baby steps to get them going. Start by organizing what needs to occur. Creating a visual that shows them step-by-step what to do often helps with the feeling of overwhelm. Include how much time each task should take.
  3. Get rid of perfectionism. Let them know that the goal is to get started, not necessarily to do it perfect. They can always tweak it later. If your child is stuck, just help them so they can keep going and not give up. Remember the goal is to get them going.
  4. Celebrate what they accomplish. Don’t wait until the end to say, “good job”, instead inspire them to continue what they are doing. You can say, “ you’re doing good- making progress” or

“almost done- keep going”.

 

Procrastinating is a habit. Your child needs your help to remind them that they will be able to start and complete the task. So instead of just telling them what to do, offer some support and jump in when needed. After a while, you will see that their confidence rises and they may not need your help anymore.